Angry Brown Man

2009-03-11T14:52:00.005-04:00

I was right when I called it back in 2007 that blogging was dead. Of all the people I follow on Bloglines, not a single one of them has updated their blog in months. I'm not going to update this anymore, as I can't be bothered to write decent posts using this format. Since 2004, my desire to write on this blog has dropped to zero, for various reasons. I'm sure you noticed. Find me on Facebook or Twitter. If you can't find me, it sucks to be you.

ABM out.

I told you so

2008-10-21T16:59:00.000-04:00

Twitter, Flickr, Facebook Make Blogs Look So 2004

Crazy Indian Video... Buffalaxed!

2008-08-16T00:06:00.001-04:00

Benny Lava

2008-08-15T23:44:00.001-04:00

PhotoShopped

2008-03-20T13:48:00.001-04:00

Photoshop disasters

InfoPorn: The Science vs. Scientology Timeline

2008-03-05T11:02:00.000-05:00

InfoPorn: The Science vs. Scientology Timeline

Stuff White People Like

2008-02-27T15:08:00.000-05:00

True Dat!

TSA Gangstaz

2008-02-26T14:00:00.001-05:00

Most hideous human alive

2008-02-21T13:50:00.000-05:00

Fucking ridiculous.

The True Cost of SMS Messages

2008-01-29T09:28:00.000-05:00

The True Cost of SMS Messages » a gthing science project

Prime examples of why Giuliani is the devil

2008-01-23T09:38:00.000-05:00

In Matters Big and Small, Crossing Giuliani Had Price - New York Times

Better than TPB!

2008-01-21T10:57:00.000-05:00

YouTorrent

The Simple Life | ThinkSimpleNow.com

2008-01-21T10:46:00.000-05:00

The Simple Life | ThinkSimpleNow.com

Tumblr

2007-11-29T10:04:00.001-05:00

I'm going to try posting stuff on Tumblr.com - it looks more suited to my new and improved extra-short attention span. Let's see if it encourages me to post more often (which I'm obviously guilty of not doing at present).

rhain.tumblr.com

Wikipedia Rocks

2007-11-08T19:51:00.000-05:00

The Office Season 4 - Launch Party

2007-10-15T10:49:00.001-04:00

Thrash Unreal

2007-08-17T11:32:00.000-04:00

Up the Cuts

2007-08-17T11:29:00.001-04:00

I can't sleep.
Dry red eyes wide open.
Stare at the white stucco ceiling.
I turn on the TV,
watch music on television.
Have I heard this song before?
Did this already happen?
Derived influence in style of dress.
Similar trends in camera technique and editing.
Sync up the cuts to the bass drum kick.
All the taste makers drinking from the same glass.
Is there anyone thinking what I am?
Is there anyone thinking what I am?

Are you restless like me?

All the insiders rumor over the decline in sales.
All the buzz is happening in the new digital market place.
FBI warning printed on the flipside.
Under penalty of law piracy will be prosecuted.
In MRR (Maximum Rock And Roll) someone asks the question,
"With the instant availability of information
and content so easily obtainable
is the culture now a product that's disposable?"
All the punks still singing the same song.
Is there anyone thinking what I am?
Is there any other alternative?

Are you restless like me?

- Up the Cuts by Against Me!

2007-08-07T15:37:00.001-04:00

2007-07-13T10:20:00.001-04:00

2007-07-09T09:11:00.001-04:00

A man walks into my office one morning. He has some business to attend to, but before he does that, he asks where the washroom is.
He then announces that he'll be back in 15 minutes.

PunGents in the news!

2007-06-26T09:07:00.001-04:00

Check out today's National Post (hard copy or online), and read a fitsr-person account of Pun Gent Pat's recent trip to Texas for the O. Henry Pun Off! A link to the story is here: http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/news/artslife/story.html?id=308f1d75-be0b-41bb-8c68-cf6a52de3ad5&p=1

2007-06-22T11:42:00.001-04:00

Blogging is dead.

Discuss.

Interesting.

2007-03-22T09:48:00.000-04:00

PunGents in the news...

2007-03-04T20:53:00.001-05:00

http://www.halifaxherald.com/Living/562367.html

Al Gore in Toronto

2007-02-22T08:56:00.000-05:00

Last night Agnes and I went to see Al Gore deliver his lecture entitled "An Inconvenient Truth" at Convocation Hall. This talk was put on as part of an environmental symposium at the University of Toronto, and Al's talk was the grand finale to the event. Tickets went on sale 2 weeks ago, and they sold on in a few seconds. I was lucky enough to snag a pair of tickets for $20 each, and I held on to them even after being offered $150 a ticket yesterday. The lecture was similar to his Oscar-nominated documentary of the same title, though he had updated some of the slides. Our seats were on the first balcony, dead centre to the stage, which gave us a great view of the whole building.
As I work in the building adjacent to Convocation Hall, I was able to hang out outside the venue when Al arrived in his 3-car motorcade. My point and shoot digicam was acting up a bit, but I was still able to snag some shots of his arrival and the subsequent media scrum.

My Flickr photoset of all the photos.

A video clip of the media scrum.

Overheard in Heaven

2007-02-09T09:03:00.001-05:00

Anna Nicole: J. Howard, it's good to see you again!

J. Howard: Where's my money, bitch?

New Homeowner

2007-01-29T23:02:00.000-05:00

As of March 5, you can reach me at my new abode:

I will have a housewarming party once I get set up. BYOB&C (Bring Your Own Booze & Chair).

Adrenaline

2007-01-26T10:23:00.001-05:00

Adrenaline by the Deftones is one of the best fucking albums ever.

2007-01-14T22:59:00.001-05:00

I always knew that Kumar couldn't be trusted. How can you trust a brown guy without an accent?
And I swear I saw Stephen Merchant from The Office (UK) make a cameo as a CTU agent.

If this doesn't make sense to you, never mind.

2007-01-12T15:12:00.001-05:00

Facebook is sucking my life away.
Given that I'm currently at work, that's a good thing.

My New Ride

2007-01-09T14:43:00.001-05:00

RIP Davis

2007-01-06T23:03:00.000-05:00

I heard the tragic news today from some of my high school friends that we have lost yet another one of our brethren in a violent manner. Our classmate Davis Ahlowalia was killed this morning in a car accident. His Civic was hit head on at 3am by a van driving in the wrong direction in the fog. He, along with two occupants of the van were all killed. Both vehicles were totaled and unrecognizably burned in the fire that ensued. His body had to be identified via dental records.

Davis was a police officer who was known for his dedication to charity work. The local news station has a story on the crash here. I did not know him that well in high school, but we were a relatively close-knit class, and this is the fourth classmate of mine to die violently (out of a graduating class of 150). 2 others (including Steve Moore, who was disabled by Todd Bertuzzi) have been rendered incapacitated; one is severely disabled due to being hit by a car in high school.

I think that the St. Michael's College School class of 1997 is cursed. Who is next?

King Jesus of Poland

2006-12-20T11:53:00.001-05:00

From CBC News:

A move is underway to make Jesus Christ the honorary king of Poland, the country's influential Rzeczpospolita newspaper reported on Wednesday.

The paper said the idea already has the backing of 10 per cent of the members in the 460-seat lower house of parliament.

More deputies in parliament would likely join in championing the cause if the country's clergy give their backing to the idea, Rzeczpospolita said.

One deputy, Artur Gorski, said some of his colleagues "were praying in the parliamentary chapel for [Jesus's] coronation," the paper reported.

The move is not without precedence in the staunchly Roman Catholic country of 38.5 million.

In the 17th century, Mary, the mother of Jesus, was made honorary queen of the country after it was believed she helped win a battle with Sweden.

The last pope, John Paul II, was archbishop of Krakow before being elected to the papacy.

WHAT THE FUCK?

GSpace

2006-12-15T09:14:00.001-05:00

Use your GMail account as a FTP-like file storage site through Firefox. I've tried it out, and it's fast and seamless!
https://addons.mozilla.org/firefox/1593/

chacha.com

2006-12-08T13:53:00.001-05:00

www.chacha.com is a new search engine that offers "live search", where a real human being will perform a web search for you and give you a list of results. Here is a transcript of my foray into the world of chacha.com.

Status: Looking for a guide ...
Status: Connected to guide: LynnL
LynnL: Welcome to ChaCha!
You: I'm looking for a merkin
LynnL: OK..I don't know what that is..but I will help you
You: ok. thanks
LynnL: OH! a wig?
You: yes
LynnL: OK! thanks just a minute please
You: for my special place
You: I have blue hair, so a blue merkin would be good. The carpet should match the drapes.
LynnL: OH sorry..i just saw what that is. no wonder I didnt know
LynnL: Is there anything else on this topic I can find for you today?
You: You have to get out more!
You: No. that helps. Thanks
LynnL: Thanks for using ChaCha! I hope you had a great search experience!
LynnL: Please RATE ME. Thanks for using ChaCha.
Status: Session ended.

The links LynnL sent me sucked. Don't trust chacha.com when shopping for blue merkins. However, they may be more accurate with pink merkins - try it and let me know.

Angry through the ages

2006-12-06T21:49:00.000-05:00

Even as a kid ABM put the A in Angry. Check out the piece he packed as a wee tyke. You don't mess with galoshes like those. Not when the owner of the galoshes is Angry and Brown and packing heat.

Don't let the smile fool you. Inside, he was seething. I know - I was there.

Speakers Corner, Again

2006-11-21T09:07:00.001-05:00

ORLY?

2006-11-19T11:45:00.000-05:00

2006-11-16T15:44:00.000-05:00

You can buy all kinds of wacky shit on the internet.

http://www.overstock.com/?page=proframe&prod_id=1930941

Nickelback truth

2006-11-14T09:24:00.001-05:00

Finally, Kroeger and his shitty hick trash bandmates get objectively exposed: http://www.thewebshite.net/nickelback.htm

The Evolution of Flash

2006-11-13T09:38:00.001-05:00

I'm getting better.

2006-11-09T14:28:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I bought and started playing Gears of War for the Xbox 360. It's fucking awesome.

Today I took part 1 of a 3-part course on Flash programming. Here are some doodles I made:
Doodle 1
Doodle 2
Doodle 2

Hopefully I can make cooler stuff after the next two sessions.

2006-11-08T09:38:00.001-05:00

Enjoy the feeling of the Democratic boot up your ass, George.

2006-11-03T09:50:00.000-05:00

I Lost on Millionaire, Baby

2006-10-31T10:45:00.001-05:00

Exhibit A: http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/62776/First_Question_Wrong_On_Millionaire.html

Mac-O-Lantern

2006-10-31T09:51:00.001-05:00

http://www3.uark.edu/bkst/macmod/page1.htm

2006-10-19T15:13:00.001-04:00

If I was a politician, when the time came for me to vote in the election in a staged photo-op, I'd vote for the other guy.

That would be awesome.

No one would ever think that I wouldn't vote for myself, and the symbolism of me presumably voting for myself would still resonate with the voters. Plus I'd have a bombshell to reveal when I left politics and wrote my memoir.

It's a fucking great idea.

Now on to other interesting events. 2 nights ago SB and I went to see Billy Talent at the Phoenix (a small club in Toronto), at a show sponsored by a beer company. All attendees received 4 free beers, as well as $10 towards a cab ride home. Billy Talent put on a strong show, so I went home happy.

Last night I attended a gala fundraising dinner that I helped organize. The beneficiary of the dinner was a charity that advocates medical research. I had to give a speech during dinner, which was nerve-wracking, as there were over 200 well-heeled attendees. From the feedback I received, I think my speech went well, which may have been partly due to the 4 glasses of wine I drank beforehand.

In other news, I'm looking for a condo and trying to get the wedding planning off the ground. Let's see if I can get some momentum going on both those fronts.

ABM out.

Saturday Night Wrist

2006-10-19T10:14:00.001-04:00

The new Deftones album kicks fucking ass.

Toronto puns

2006-10-11T07:04:00.000-04:00

From this past weekend's Speaker's Corner:

So Divided

2006-10-05T15:01:00.001-04:00

I obtained a copy of the new "... And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead" album So Divided, and it fuckin' rocks. I want to go see them live in November when they visit Toronto. Nothing like some mayhem and destruction to fuel the angriness within.

The Greatest Firefox Plugin Ever

2006-10-03T20:27:00.001-04:00

http://rip.mozdev.org/

Samuel L. Jackson

2006-09-29T16:09:00.001-04:00

So I'm on my way into work this morning at 8:55, when I pass by a bunch of movie star trailers lined up all along the street near my office. I wonder as usual which movie it could be, and who might be inside those fancy portable dorms. They are always labelled with the names of the characters or some pseudonym, so I had no clue what move was being filmed.

Until I got to the last trailer and Samuel L. motherfucking Jackson nearly walks into me in his purposeful striding back to his trailer. I kid you not. He was a man on a mission, wearing a white elderly-black-man wig. Him and his two friends/cronies/homies/bodyguards were walking along the sidewalk back to his trailer and I was walking right towards them. I split them down the middle and had to move sideways and dodge to get out of Samuel's way, but I brushed against the Man himself.

That made my day.

Here's a photo I found online of SLJ taken a few days ago during the shooting of the same movie (which is incidentally titled Jumper):

Free FULL episodes of animated comedies

2006-09-28T09:36:00.001-04:00

http://dailyepisodes.com/index.php?series=1

That's pretty cool.

120 24 in less than 3

2006-09-15T08:58:00.001-04:00

I finished watching the final episode of the fifth season of 24 last night. That means SB and I have watched all 5 seasons (120 episodes) of 24 in under 3 months.

That's a lot of TV.

Breathing Earth

2006-09-13T11:34:00.001-04:00

http://www.breathingearth.net

Zanta!

2006-09-08T11:18:00.001-04:00

The Gents finally tracked down Zanta, and he is our newest Punshine Boy: http://www.pungents.com/punshines/zanta.htm
For a guy who is seemingly everywhere, he was hard to track down!

Metro

2006-09-06T07:50:00.000-04:00

If you live in Toronto, check out page 34 of today's Metro commuter newspaper. I'm in it! If you can't see a hard copy, here is a digital version:

Will I Die?

2006-08-31T21:20:00.000-04:00

Check out the world's first Mortality Detector - www.willidie.org

Another quality production from the Gents!

Conan at the Emmys

2006-08-29T21:03:00.000-04:00

I missed this because I don't watch awards shows, but it's pretty funny! Conan crashes the sets of a bunch of TV shows, and some funny stuff happens.

Helmet puts the A in ABM

2006-08-24T10:10:00.002-04:00

Chickenegg.org is now live!

2006-08-21T15:58:00.000-04:00

http://chickenegg.org

Vote now and spread the word!

Chickenegg.org

2006-08-17T23:48:00.000-04:00

From the dynamic duo that brought you www.pungents.com, comes the next frontier in knowledge acquisition. Building on the strength of successful Web 2.0 models such as Wikipedia - where truth is defined by the masses - www.chickenegg.org will attempt to harness the distributed brainpower of all of mankind to answer the single most vexing question in the history of humanity. The nature of the question and the power of distributed brainpower are unclear at this time, as the creators of www.chickenegg.org have made this reporter sign a gag order prohibiting him from revealing anything on pain of death. Supposedly all will be revealed in a few days. In the meantime, I can safely say that this audacious plan could rock the foundations of modern discourse. Sartre will roll in his grave, and Plato's cave will be demolished. All will see the light. Even those who are blind. Well, maybe not them. They'll just see a fuzzy halo in their unending darkness.

Waiter, there's a hair in my soup

2006-08-09T20:31:00.000-04:00

Today I was in the middle of enjoying some Chunky Soup for dinner, when I noticed something I wished I hadn't seen - a hair in my soup. I immediately visited www.chunky.ca and fired off the following letter:

Today I purchased a can of 540mL prime rib and vegetable Chunky Soup. I had finished most of it when I noticed that there was a curly black human hair, about 2 inches long, under the surface of the soup attached to a piece of potato. I have a shaved head, so the hair was not mine, and there was no one else with me when I was eating. This hair appears to have been dropped in the soup during manufacturing and packaging. I am quite disturbed by this finding, and I had to throw out the rest of the soup, which deprived me of half of my dinner. I really love Chunky Soup, but after finding this hair, I don't know whether I can trust that I won't find any more hairs. I have kept the hair if you want me to send it somewhere, and I also have the soup can label. Please let me know what Campbell's can do to rectify this situation.

Thanks,

ABM

My new cell phone ringtone

2006-08-07T22:25:00.000-04:00

http://www.ccir.ed.ac.uk/~jad/ringtone/CTU24.mp3

I admit it. I'm a nerd.

24

2006-08-02T23:27:00.003-04:00

So I recently got bored of watching movies, so I figured I'd check out some TV shows that appear to be generally well-regarded. I had heard lots of good things about 24, but I had never watched a single episode. I just knew that the premise involved real-time shooting of events in a counter-terrorist unit. I consulted my good friend demonoid.com and sure enough, he told me that he had all 5 seasons available if I wished to watch them. I figured I might as well, as I have not watched more than one episode of any TV show with since the X-Files went off the air. After many weeks, I finally had all 5 seasons downloaded. With each season composed of 24 episodes (do I get an award for that?), that is a whopping ninety-six 42-minute episodes to watch before season 6 starts in January. The future wife and I are currently halfway through Season 3, and at the current rate we'll finish Season 5 by the end of September.

Since I have been exposed to so much Jack Bauer in such a short period of time, I've come up with ten observations I'd like to share with both of you (SPOILER ALERT!):

1) Characters pop up and disappear with alarming regularity. What happened to Lynne Kresge, Milo Pressman and many others? Why does Rick Allen, a major character in Season 1, not even have a Wikipedia entry when his partner in crime Dan Mounts does?

2) Everyone dies on the hour. My advice to criminals - if you're running away from Jack Bauer and it's 1:58am, HIDE! If you can stay hidden until 2:01am, you'll be safe for another 57 minutes.

3) Jack's cell phone never dies, even though he never uses a landline. That baby must have a hell of a battery. Probably uses a portable nuclear fusion device.

4) Tony Almeida always glances to the left and then to the right when he's talking to someone. Jack does the same. Left. Right. Repeat.

5) The future wife gets the credit for bringing #5 to my attention. Jack has to enunciate that "We just don't have time!" and "Millions of people are going to die" at least once an episode. I'd say they definitely don't have time if 1 hour in their world takes 42 minutes to traverse.

6) They must get hungry, because they never eat.

7) They must have strong bowels and bladders, because they never visit the facilities.

8) Kim Bauer is a fucking moron, yet she gets a job as a computer analyst in a government agency. She had a simply constructed loop snare around her ankle in Season 2 that some random guy removed in 5 seconds, yet she couldn't figure out how to remove it.

9) There are a ton of people milling around CTU other than the main characters, but they never seem to do anything useful or contribute anything to the investigations. What the fuck are they being paid for? Is this an example of American taxpayer dollars at work? No wonder they can't find Osama.

10) Each season so far starts out with a problem that is seemingly on the verge of being solved by episode 6. But no! We're mistaken! Those crafty writers turn the tables on us, and the real villains turn out to be the bosses of the people we thought were the real villains. Oh Joel and Robert, you crafty fuckers.

With all this being said, this is still one of the best shows I have ever watched. Everyone's a critic, but I couldn't have come up with more logical yet convoluted plotlines if my life depended on it.

Now I wonder who killed Amador? Don't tell me or I'll have to send Agent Richards after you. He inflicts pain.

Snakes on a Mothafuckin' Plane

2006-07-25T11:25:00.000-04:00

2006-07-23T22:10:00.000-04:00

Speaker's Corner (again)!

2006-07-23T19:08:00.000-04:00

The Gents will be on Speaker's Corner again tonight (Sunday) and tomorrow (Monday). Those in Toronto can tune in to CityTV in Toronto at 7:30pm tonight or 11:30am tomorrow to catch us in action!

I'll be recording the episode, and I'll put up a copy of the performance on YouTube as soon as possible.

Zidane

2006-07-13T10:09:00.000-04:00

http://www.buket-medien.de/zidane.htm

Hu's on first?

2006-07-07T15:53:00.000-04:00

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

2006-07-04T13:27:00.000-04:00

I'm getting old.

2006-07-04T07:20:00.000-04:00

Someone please find me a frigerator. I need to refrigerate something, but I can't do that without frigerating it first.

Thanks.

Borat movie!

2006-06-29T13:14:00.000-04:00

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/borat.html;_ylt=Aqal9iWsc_u8o0PrG6cSal9fVXcA

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

2006-06-27T10:45:00.000-04:00

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6805063692754011230

Sing it, George!

2006-06-23T15:52:00.000-04:00

Nine Inch Nails tomorrow!

Hell yeah.

Xbox 360

2006-06-22T22:53:00.000-04:00

I just bought an Xbox 360 premium for $389 plus tax.

It retails for $500 plus tax.

Gotta love the genetically-ingrained ability to get a good price on anything.

Halo 3, I'm ready for you!

2006-06-21T17:03:00.000-04:00

Tori Spelling looks like a dog. I don't know who is uglier -

Tori Spelling?

or Condoleezza Rice/Chucky?

Useless Facts

2006-06-18T22:35:00.000-04:00

http://www2.gvsu.edu/~feenstrk/useless.html

Presenting the future Mrs. Angry Brown Man!

2006-06-03T09:47:00.000-04:00

Yesterday in Montreal, Quebec, at the Montreal Botanical Gardens, I asked and she said yes.

Date of union TBD.

It's A Wonderful Internet

2006-05-26T10:55:00.000-04:00

http://www.itsawonderfulinternet.com/

Enjoy!

Stumbleupon

2006-05-18T09:45:00.000-04:00

Stumbleupon is the coolest Firefox plugin I have ever seen (www.stumbleupon.com). If you have Firefox, check it out - you'll find many sites you never knew existed!

Paul and Heather

2006-05-17T09:54:00.000-04:00

Paul McCartney and Heather Mills just announced that they are splitting up. This isn't so newsworthy, as Hollywood couples split up left, right and centre. However, the (ex-)couple's statement read in part:
"Our parting is amicable and both of us still care about each other very much but have found it increasingly difficult to maintain a normal relationship with constant intrusion into our private lives,'' the McCartneys said. ``We hope, for the sake of our baby daughter that we will be given some space and time to get through this difficult period.''"

This is what I have to say about this:
If you don't like people intruding into your private lives, stop cavorting with the fucking seals in front of all the TV cameras and arguing with the premier of Newfoundland on CNN!

Fucking idiots.

Weight of DNA

2006-05-16T15:36:00.000-04:00

There are an estimated 10^14 cells in the human body.
Each cell is estimated to contain 10^-12 grams of DNA.

Therefore each of us contains roughly 100g of DNA.

I'm surprised that no one has yet asked how much of our weight comes from DNA. At least not from what Google told me.

2006-05-16T11:51:00.000-04:00

As promised, the Pun Gents strike again!

2006-05-15T13:22:00.000-04:00

The Gents are now YouTube enabled! Look for our most recent Speakers Corner appearance (from Saturday night) to be added shortly. Until then, here are 4 of our previous appearances:

Blaine

2006-05-09T13:35:00.000-04:00

From richmond.com, by way of Google News:

Other than the final episode of "Seinfeld," Y2K and the 2005-06 New York Knicks, has the Big Apple ever experienced a bigger disappointment than magician David Blaine?

Don't hold your breath for the answer.

After being submerged in a 2,000-gallon fishbowl – which by the way, would have made one heck of a Cinco de Mayo margarita glass – for 177 straight hours in NYC's Lincoln Center, Blaine boldly attempted to hold his breath for a record nine minutes on Monday night.

For those who claim the former street magician must have sold his soul to the devil to do what he does, Beelzebub called up the repo man last night.

The whole "Drowned Alive" debacle was televised for two hours on ABC. Knowing that the charade would likely be littered with unintentional comedy and overdramatic commentary, we tuned in and journaled it all.

8:01 p.m.: We're here live in Lincoln Center joined by thousands of New Yorkers! Here's your host for the night – Stuart Scott… What?!?! Apparently, ESPN let Scott out of the basement cubby they keep when he's not doing five SportsCenters a day. We're guessing Scott refers to Blaine as "his dog" in less than five minutes. And we're hoping that for his next trick, Blaine will cure Scott's lazy eye. Boo-yah!

8:05: Personally, I'm not interested in any world record unless those fat twins on the mopeds pictured in the "Guinness Book of World Record" are involved. You know who I'm talking about – the McGuire twins. Being the world's fattest twins is much more interesting than staying submerged in water for 177 hours or holding your breath for a few minutes. Someone call Richard Simmons and find out if those guys are still alive.

8:12: Blaine's team – which includes 147 doctors, water filtration specialists and one breathing coach (apparently a Lamaze class was cancelled somewhere in Brooklyn) has been keeping tabs on the magician / stuntman all week. Doctors warn Blaine that he could suffer brain damage. They should have warned the wary TV audience that they were susceptible as well. On top of that, Blaine's skin is so pruney he could be the frontman for the California Raisins.

8:25: We get a retrospective of Blaine's training. He lost 40 pounds for the big stunt, we learn, as we see a montage of Blaine working out topless. Apparently, Blaine subscribes to the LL Cool J School of Exercise. To build his lung capacity, Blaine would hold his breath for several intervals that added up to 48 minutes of an hour. He also stopped smoking three packs of Camel Reds a day.

8:30: As many of you know, Blaine parlayed a promising career as a "street magician" into a string of stunts that include being buried alive, being frozen alive and – the most death-defying of all – making it through a relationship with crazy Fiona Apple…alive. Here, ABC gives us a little taste of Blaine's old school street magic days, where he walks through city streets scaring the hell out of people with bizarre card tricks. He even visits a Louisiana prison and bends a set of prison bars with his bare hands to the ooohhs and ahhhhs of rapists, murderers and thieves. "I come here to see how people live in confinement," Blaine tells the TV audience. Well if that was his point, he could have just visited a Mini Cooper dealership.

8:50: Now we see further preparations Blaine took for his lame stunt, including visiting Aron Ralston, the heroic dude who self-amputated his arm with a rock back in 2003 when it got stuck between a canyon floor and a boulder while hiking in Utah. The two certainly have a lot in common. Blaine has placed himself in fabricated danger and has a high-paid medical team clad in scrubs should anything go wrong with his self-invoked breath holding. Ralston had…a rock and probably a few new inappropriate nicknames. Likewise, Blaine visits super stuntman Evel Knievel. Those hoping that the surly old canyon jumper would cold cock Blaine on the spot and then take a shot from the booze stash he keeps in his cane were sorely disappointed. If Blaine really knew magic, why couldn't he help Knievel's towering tax debt "disappear?" Why indeed.

9:06: Stuart Scott announces that Blaine will now emerge from his bubble and speak for the first time before preparing for the grand finale breath hold. Only, Blaine stays mum. Miscommunication among the TV production crew or a ruse by Blaine to build suspense? By the way, when Scott says Blaine hasn't talked since making the goldfish bowl his home, he lies. In fact, just last week, Kelly Ripa donned a wetsuit and had a chatty tea party with Blaine. Regis would have done it, but they didn't want Blaine's skin wrinkles to be upstaged (rimshot!).

9:15: We see a shot of Blaine frolicking with Navy SEALs as part of his training regimen. For an over dramatic effect, Blaine tells us he can't reveal the SEALs' faces or locations. Apparently, Richmond.com can do you one better than Blaine. Take that, you Harry Potter wannabe.

9:24: We learn that not only does Blaine have to hold his breath for nine minutes – the record is 8:58 – but he also needs to escape a set of eight chains in an ode to Houdini. Here's a fun fact: Houdini died from a punch to the stomach. And if Blaine wastes two hours of our time without an exciting climax, there's a good chance that the mob of onlookers will make sure Blaine has a similar fate.

9:26: It's time for the stunt. With Blaine chained up, the water level begins to rise back up. We've just heard that the cast of "Grey's Anatomy" is live on the set and Patrick Dempsey has drawn the short straw as the one to give Blaine mouth-to-mouth in case his world record attempt is foiled. Dempsey hasn't been this livid since his 1989 pizza delivery chick flick "Loverboy" bombed at the box office. Just kidding.

9:38: We're told that if Blaine emits air bubbles while holding his breath, it means he's passed out. Either that or he ate at Chipotle for lunch.

9:44: Blaine takes his final breath. The TV audience heads for the bathroom. By the way, if Blaine does die during this stunt, the LAPD will likely rejoice that someone died while wearing handcuffs and they weren't involved.

9:50: Five minutes and 30 seconds into his attempt, Blaine is grimacing like Tommy Chong during a routine traffic stop.

9:52: Just after the seven-minute (7:08 to be sure), air bubbles prophetically rise from the bowl and a team of divers jumps in to grab Blaine.

9:56: A defeated Blaine finally talks, "This was a very difficult week….thank you all and I love you all." Come on, that's loser talk. He might as well thank the Academy for just being nominated. The mob of onlookers claps and shouts his name with the same tone one would use to root for the last New York Marathon participant to cross the finish line. Apparently, Blaine blacked out shortly after loosening his second chain. And while his 177 straight hours underwater was a record, he has failed in his primary mission. Now we'll have to wait six months for Blaine's next publicity seeking gimmick: once again becoming relevant.

ABM watched the special as well and must agree with the above piece. Too bad he didn't die in a hypoxic bladder-control-losing death spasm.

Code compliance

2006-05-08T10:16:00.000-04:00

The bathroom near my office is unusable 50% of the time I go in there due it's non-compliance with The Code.
Who the hell designs a bathroom with two (and only two) urinals right next to one another? Any male architect would know that urinals must be constructed in odd-numbered units to permit compliance with The Code. The only possible explanation for this travesty was that a woman designed it.
I don't think women understand The Code. In fact, female reader(s) of this blog are probably scratching their heads right now...

Radiohead

2006-05-06T19:36:00.000-04:00

I snagged tickets to Radiohead this morning.
The gods must be smiling upon me.
If they aren't smiling, at the very least they aren't pissing on my bald head.

2006-04-29T18:46:00.000-04:00

Today I went for a walk in a very urban park (a wooded area at the interesection of Jane and Eglinton in Toronto), and saw not one, but two snakes (and two different species to boot). Here they are (I had a camera handy):

Eastern smooth green snake:

Easter garter snake:

Snakes are my favourite kind of animals, so today was a very good day!

2006-04-28T09:30:00.000-04:00

Keep me away from your shotgun.

Super Mario Live

2006-04-27T13:12:00.000-04:00

http://gorillamask.net/mariolive.shtml

I don't make the news, I just report it

2006-04-19T10:56:00.000-04:00

Scrambled Hackz

2006-04-17T13:14:00.000-04:00

You have to see it to believe it: http://www.archive.org/download/shvideo/sh_promo.wmv

Vicarious

2006-04-16T11:40:00.000-04:00

The new Tool single "Vicarious" has shown up on your friendly neighbourhood P2P site. It's 7 minutes of mayhem and it sounds amazing. Looking forward to the rest of the album on May 2!

Google Calendar

2006-04-13T09:37:00.000-04:00

Now live!
www.google.com/calendar

2006-04-11T09:35:00.000-04:00

I got tickets to see Nine Inch Nails when they come to the Molson Amphitheatre in June. Bauhaus and Peaches are opening, so it should be a good show. This will mark the third time in just over a year that I've seen NIN but somehow it just never gets old.

Hell freezes over

2006-04-05T10:03:00.000-04:00

http://www.apple.com/pr/library/2006/apr/05bootcamp.html

2006-04-01T14:59:00.000-05:00

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/03/31/ebay_box_sale/

File under "No Shit"

2006-03-31T13:45:00.000-05:00

CHICAGO (Reuters) - A study of more than 1,800 patients who underwent heart bypass surgery has failed to show that prayers specially organized for their recovery had any impact, researchers said Thursday.

In fact, the study found some of the patients who knew they were being prayed for did worse than others who were only told they might be prayed for -- though those who did the study said they could not explain why.

The patients in the study at six U.S. hospitals included 604 who were actually prayed for after being told they might or might not be; another 597 patients who were not prayed for after being told they might or might not be; and a group of 601 who were prayed for and told they would be the subject of such prayer.

The praying was done by members of three Christian groups in monasteries and elsewhere -- two Catholic and one Protestant -- who were given written prayers and the first name and initial of the last name of the prayer subjects. The prayers started on the eve of or day of surgery and lasted for two weeks.

Among the first group -- who were prayed for but only told they might be -- 52 percent had post-surgical complications compared to 51 percent in the second group, the ones who were not prayed for though told they might be. In the third group, who knew they were being prayed for, 59 percent had complications.

After 30 days, however, the death rates and incidence of major complications was about the same across all three groups, said the study published in the American Heart Journal.

COMPLICATIONS AFTER SURGERY

"Intercessory prayer itself had no effect on whether complications occurred (and) patients who were certain that intercessors would pray for them had a higher rate of complications than patients who were uncertain but did receive intercessory prayer," the study said.

There is "no clear explanation" for the latter finding, it added.

The study -- called the largest of its kind -- was designed only to try to measure the impact of intercessory prayer on heart surgery patients, an intervention that some earlier reports had showed seemed to be beneficial.

"Our study was never intended to address the existence of God or the presence or absence of intelligent design in the universe" or to compare the efficacy of one prayer form over another, said the Rev. Dean Marek, director of chaplain services at the Mayo Clinic, one of the authors.

The patients in the study had similar religious profiles with most believing in spiritual healing and almost all also thinking that friends or relatives would be praying for them as well, he said.

"One caveat is that with so many individuals receiving prayer from friends and family, as well as personal prayer, it may be impossible to disentangle the effects of study prayer from background prayer," Manoj Jain of Baptist Memorial Hospital, Memphis, Tennessee, another author of the report.

The authors said one possible limitation to their study was that those doing the special praying had no connection or acquaintance with the subjects of their prayer, which would not usually be the norm.

"Private or family prayer is widely believed to influence recovery from illness, and the results of this study do not challenge this belief," the report concluded.